What is The How to Love Series About?
The How to Love Series for those who are trying to love difficult people without losing truth, safety, or themselves. The four-part series includes Book S, How to Love When Love Isn’t There; Book O, How to Love Without Losing Yourself; Book U, How to Love Difficult People the Way Christ Loves Us; and Book L, How to Become Love from the Inside Out. The series draws from biblical wisdom, counseling experience, trauma research, attachment theory, and my own story to explain why people hurt others, how wounds shape behavior, and how Christlike love holds both compassion and wisdom. Across the series, I help readers understand emotional wounds, set healthy boundaries, confront with clarity, avoid enabling, and love without abandoning discernment. The corresponding workbook series gives readers guided reflection, Scripture-based exercises, practical prompts, and application tools to help them process each book personally and put wise love into practice. At its core, this book and workbook series teaches that compassion without wisdom prolongs suffering, and truth without grace wounds more efficiently. Jesus modeled a love that keeps both.
Why I Wrote The How to Love Series
I wrote this book series because I need it too. I have lived both sides of relational pain. I have been the bad friend, the one harming herself, and the non-believer. I have walked through church hurt, mental health struggles, relational exhaustion, trauma, shame, and seasons of feeling unlovable. I have sat with clients, friends, and family who ask the same question I once asked: How do I love this person when the love feels gone? I learned that Jesus never asks us to choose between truth and grace, and many people need a map for loving wisely. The workbook series was created to help readers slow down, reflect honestly, engage in Scripture, and apply these truths to their own relationships instead of simply reading and moving on. I want readers to understand that love is not enabling, boundaries are not cruelty, and healing requires honesty. I want people to stop confusing compassion with compliance and forgiveness with access, what we excuse, we often enable, and that rescuing and helping are not the same.
See. Observe. Understand. Live.
The Four Stages of Discipleship: Together, these four movements shape the SOUL into a disciple who sees clearly, loves wisely, speaks boldly, and lives transformed.
Stage 1: SEE — Learn to see and understand people clearly through compassion, wisdom, and spiritual discernment.
Stage 2: OBSERVE — Learn to love without losing yourself by guarding your heart, honoring healthy boundaries, and protecting what God has entrusted to you.
Stage 3: UNDERSTAND — Learn to love difficult people the way Christ loves by speaking truth with grace, courage, and tenderness—seeking restoration rather than harm.
Stage 4: LIVE — Move from knowing how to love to becoming love, allowing Christ to transform you from the inside out so that His character is reflected in how you live and love.
THE HOW TO LOVE SERIES
Four books. One transformed SOUL.
I write for the people trying to understand difficult relationships, recognize unhealthy patterns, heal from what hurt them, love without losing themselves, and move forward with greater wisdom and purpose.
Book S: SEE — AVAILABLE NOW
Ebook + Paperback
Book O: OBSERVE — SEPTEMBER 25
Ebook + Paperback
Book U: UNDERSTAND — OCTOBER 31
Ebook + Paperback
Book L: LIVE — NOVEMBER 27
Ebook + Paperback
God Helps Me See: A Little Book About Big Feelings
For little hearts ages 2–4. Before Kayden came into this world, our beloved Nanny, Marilyn Jean Benton Nooner, went home to be with Jesus. They share the same birthday, a beautiful thread between heaven and earth, and a gentle reminder that love can reach across every distance.
Stay tuned to see what age groups are up next in The How to Love Series!